Brian doesn't want the family to know what he's really doing in Hollywood, and tries to cover it up. Peter's toy company gets bought out by the El Dorado Cigarettes company, and the toys are then used to market cigarettes to children. When Peter, on Lois's advice, confronts his new bosses about their evil use of toys, they promote Peter to president to shut him up.
Lois, pleased with all the perks that come with Peter's new position, keeps her mouth shut too, while Brian quits smoking in protest. Peter's bosses send him to Washington to lobby against a bill that would put them out of business, because they figure politicians will be able to relate to a big dumb fat guy.
Brian helps himself to a cigarette as the family drives away. When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.
Peter feels jealous when he finds out Chris has a larger penis than he does, so he tries various tactics like buying a new car and joining a gun club. He then takes Chris on a father-son hunting trip only for Chris to eventually save the day. Meanwhile, Meg finds herself to be a target of abuse from the cool kids at school when she joins the flag girl squad. Peter sneaks away on his and Lois' anniversary to play golf at an upscale country club, only to be struck by lightning and have a near-death experience.
Death promises to give Peter a revelation to help his marriage if Peter helps him get a date. Meanwhile, Peter sets up a fake scavenger hunt for Lois and the kids, which takes them all over Quahog. Bonnie convinces Lois to join her Tae-Jitsu class and Quahog is invaded by New York "leafers" coming to look at the pretty colored leaves in fall.
Lois quickly becomes a black-belt, and Peter uses his new dangerous wife to drive away all the annoying New Yorkers. However, Lois' new-found violent side finds its way into the Griffin household, and after trying counseling, the whole family has an all-out brawl to get it out of their system.
When Meg, due to her crush on Tom Tucker, the newscaster, applies for an internship at the local television station and gets the job, she is disappointed to find that her news partner is the most reviled nerd in school, Neil.
Caught in a life-threatening news situation, Meg laments that she never had a first kiss and agrees to kiss Neil only to find that he taped the whole thing in order to broadcast it across the world. Meg broadcasts her own news that she has no interest in Neil, sending him to the ledge on top of Town Hall.
She breaks his fall, only to find out that he had no intention of jumping and was just trying to get her attention again. Stewie's prized new tricycle is stolen by the neighborhood bully, but the bully soon learns not to screw with Stewie. Peter's boss comes to dinner at the Griffin house but soon dies.
Unemployed, Peter begins his search for a job and ends up going after his lifelong dream of becoming a knight at a traveling Renaissance Fair. Caught in a compromising position with the infamous Black Knight's wench, he must defend his family's honor in an duel with the Black Knight.
Peter, Still out of a job, and now severely obese, decides to take on a new profession: Fishing. After buying a boat at a police auction, he soon finds himself in debt to a loan shark. When Peter hears of a legendary fish that, when caught, could win him the money he needs, he and the guys go searching for the mystical creature called 'Daggermouth'.
Meanwhile, Lois tries to cheer up Meg with a spring break trip, where Lois is the one getting all the attention. Peter goes with Lois to visit her sister Carole, who is now pregnant, but alone since her husband walked out on her. Carole goes into labor and Peter helps deliver the baby.
Caught up in the moment, Peter and Lois decide that they want another baby. Stewie however, does not agree. Stewie does everything possible to keep Peter and Lois away from each other, but when he is locked out of their room, he is forced to take desperate measures. Stewie ends up shrinking himself down to microscopic size and seeking out his sperm-brother inside Peter's body.
Instead of trying to kill his unborn brother Stewie and him unite to destroy Lois. Chris chooses a robber out of a lineup, but after Peter accidentally tells the robber where the family lives, the Griffins are placed in the witness protection program. They are sent to the Deep South, where Chris makes a new friend, Sam. Peter questions the truth of a Civil War reenactment that showed the South winning the war, leading to Sam's father forbidding Sam from seeing Chris.
Upset, Sam runs away with Chris and kisses him on the mouth. Chris tells Sam that he doesn't like boys and doesn't like him in a physical sense.
Sam reveals to Chris that she is not a boy, but a girl. Then the robber arrives in the South, about to kill Chris, but the towns folk stop him just in time. Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out.
Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is. While trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes.
Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Christmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. When Brian is arrested for drunk driving, he's forced to do community service, which consists of helping Pearl, a middle-aged, agoraphobic, bitter woman. Brian gets so fed up with her insanity, that he storms out of her house.
Later, Brian watches a television documentary that reveals Pearl's past as a top advertising jingle singer of the s and 60s. Brian warms up to her, realizing where her pain comes from, and eventually she warms up to him too. He convinces Pearl to actually go outside, but she gets by a bus. While on her deathbed, Brian and Pearl share a fantasy intimate moment, but as they are about to kiss, she dies. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and learns that a swallow has nested inside it. He wants to shave it off but can't when he finds out the bird is an endangered species.
Peter eventually grows attached to the bird and starts feeling maternal. Lois is finally able to convince Peter to let the bird fly away and also teaches Brian about moving on with his life after Pearl's death. During the audition, Brian turns in a mediocre performance and is dismissed by the judges. Stewie, determined to get Brian a second chance, throws a melodramatic fit.
The teachers, impressed with Stewie's theatrics, enroll him in the rising stars program. Stewie doesn't realize he is struggling at the school until he overhears his teachers discussing how he and Olivia, the school's most promising but overly haughty student. Stewie tells Olivia that they must put on the performance of a lifetime or they'll get kicked out, and their routine is a hit.
Stewie and Olivia become fast friends, but the harmony ends when competition, pressure and fast-fame set in. Olivia walks off the stage mid-routine, leaving Stewie to finish the performance.
Stewie takes his act solo, but is booed everywhere he goes. Meanwhile Meg finally gets a boyfriend, a boy from an all-American family. There's only one problem with this family though - they're nudists. Peter's jealousy reaches new heights when he accompanies Lois to the gynecologist. As the doctor prepares to examine Lois, Peter refuses to let him near her.
Later, while shopping, Lois runs into an ex-boyfriend, Ross Fishman, who innocently asks her out for coffee. Fearful of Peter over-reacting, Lois sneaks off to meet Ross. At the same time, Joe picks up Peter for a joyride in his new high-tech surveillance van. While parked outside a diner, they see Lois and Ross inside. Using the van's high-tech gadgets, Peter misinterprets Lois and Ross' words. Angered, Peter decides to make Lois jealous by hiring prostitutes to pose as his ex-girlfriends.
Realizing their marriage needs help, Lois and Peter see a marriage therapist, who suggests placing video cameras around the house for a week. After viewing the tapes, the therapist recommends that Peter and Lois date other people during a trial separation. Quagmire, hoping to take advantage of Lois' vulnerability, invites her on a date to a restaurant where they run into Peter and his gorgeous date, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Lois becomes enraged with jealousy and shoos Peter's date away. They leave together happily. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian accidentally super glue themselves together at the store. They have to wait a week before the solvent arrives in the mail. While stuck together, they actually begin to like one another. Of course, things return to normal the moment they're released from their glued prison. Stewie is addicted to the British hot children's show "Jolly Farm Review" based on Mother Maggie, a benevolent figure who looks after kids on a farm.
Brian makes fun of Stewie for watching the show, but Stewie is determined to visit Jolly Farm in England because he thinks he belongs there. He stows away on a British Airways jet, which he assumes is headed for London.
Brian tries to drag Stewie off the plane, but before he can, the plane takes off. When the plane lands, they discover that they are in Saudi Arabia are stranded in the middle of a desert with no passports or resources to get out. As luck would have it, Brian and Stewie encounter a Comfort Inn in the middle of nowhere and manage to steal a hot-air balloon to fly home, but the contraption falls apart over Italy, just as the Pope is about to address the masses. Brian wants to head home, but Stewie insists on finding the Jolly Farm in England.
When they finally get to England, Stewie runs onto the set of the show. His fantasy is crushed when he encounters only a set full of props and disgruntled people, including Mother Maggie. She redeems herself though when it's revealed that she once hooked up with band leader Gene Simmons! In a special three-story episode, Brian reads viewer mail and tries to answer profound questions: "Li'l Griffins" The Griffins as the little rascals.
Kid versions of Peter, Joe, and Brian decide that they don't need girls. When they first meet Lois however, they quickly abandon their anti-girl sentiment. In school, Lois reads a book touting the virtues of bravery, and Peter and Quagmire try to prove who's the bravest by staying in a haunted house overnight. Peter first wishes that Jackie Gleason wasn't dead.
A zombie-like Gleason terrorizes the Griffins until Stewie blasts it dead. Peter then wishes he didn't have any bones. The Genie transforms him into a gelatin blob and he can no longer have sex.
Upset, Peter flushes himself down the toilet and winds up in Hollywood. He meets a doctor who tells him about a re-boning procedure. Peter gets the operation, which turns out came from bones donated from his own family.
The radiation affects each Griffin in a different way. Lois gains super strength while Peter has morphing ability. Lois tells her family that they must not abuse their powers.
Of course that doesn't work and the town is forced to hold a meeting to see how to stop the Griffins from wreaking havoc.
Adam West realizes he must fight fire with fire. He volunteers to roll around in toxic waste but he only gets lymphoma as a result. The Griffins, racked with guilt, use their powers to make Adam's recovery more comfortable. The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish "money guy" to help them, Max Weinstein comes to the rescue.
After meeting Max, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible, but the plans for a "quickie" bar mitzvah in Las Vegas are quickly foiled by Lois. Peter and Lois decide to go on a second honeymoon. But when Peter crashes the car, he decides to pose as Mel Gibson to stay in his fancy hotel suite, where they find a copy of a "The Passion of the Christ" sequel. They attempt to destroy the film and end up being chased by two priests who went to retrieve the film.
Brian becomes a substitute teacher at Chris' school after his teacher wins the lottery. When Brian is moved to teach a class of troubled kids, Chris falls in love with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to love Chris only if he kills her husband. When Lois finds out, she and Stewie decide to teach Chris a lesson. After Mort bowls a perfect game, and Quagmire gets a key to the city by performing CPR, Peter notices he has nothing to be proud of.
He then attempts to achieve fame by setting the world's record for most nickels swallowed. However, a slight miscalculation leaves him blind with nickel poisoning. When Meg gets turned down for a date, she asks her family for support.
Lois ends up taking her to the mall, where she gets the ultimate makeover. Meanwhile, Peter tries to start a band with the guys, but when their first gig fails, the family ends up performing.
Impressed by Meg's singing, a record producer signs the family, and their travels eventually land them on "Saturday Night Live. When Peter hears Loretta scream, he tries to help out, but discovers Loretta is cheating on Cleveland. Peter figures out that it was Quagmire and decides to tell Cleveland about it. But when Loretta walks out on Cleveland he doesn't take it lightly. After winning a game of Trivial Pursuit, Peter is convinced he is a genius.
The test results say that Peter is technically mentally challenged. Peter has no problem abusing this handicap until Lois is injured and the kids are taken away because Peter is not mentally fit for parenting.
Brian does not like the show, but participates just to have a vacation only to wind up falling in love with the bachelorette. Meanwhile, Chris gets a nasty pimple on his cheek, which talks to Chris and likes to cause mischief. Neil is dating another girl which makes Meg jealous, and Stewie falls in love with Liddane, his new babysitter. Peter and the family break her out and end up fugitives in Asian Town.
Lois fulfills a lifelong dream of being a model. Stewie starts on a multi-level marketing company. Brian in need of cash to buy his de-worming medication agrees to become his salesman.
Martin Luther King Jr. When Peter and the guys decide to go fishing, they end up caught in a storm. Stranded on a desert island, their families fear the worst. Rescued by a cruise ship months later, Peter surprises Lois at home, where he finds out that she has a new husband. When Chris is supposed to be hazed for a school tradition, he runs off to South America; Peter quickly becomes frustrated by his new job at the beer factory.
After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian gets a job at The New Yorker. Lois thinks Stewie is trying to kill her due to his lack of quality time with his father, so she orders Peter to spend more time with Stewie. Meanwhile Chris starts a friendship with Herbert. Lois discovers she has a brother named Patrick and takes the family cross-country to meet him.
But when all the fat men of Quahog are strangled one-by-one the group lives in fear. But after a mix-up with the holy-water leaves Stewie in a bubble, Peter decides to form a church worshiping his hero, the Fonz. After Brian has a near-death experience in the hospital, he decides to lead a new life. He ends up getting a nightly singing gig with Frank Sinatra Jr.
Meanwhile, Meg, after joining a new after-school group, pretends to be a lesbian. At his high school reunion, Peter tries to impress his fellow classmates.
When Peter, heading for the bathroom, charges through the crowd of people, impresses quarterback Tom Brady, who offers Peter a spot on the New England Patriots.
Meanwhile, Brian owes Stewie money, after Stewie becomes a sports bookie. When Peter wins a maid for a week as a prize on a game show, Quagmire gains an interest in her, and they eventually marry. Quagmire, stricken with his bachelor ways, tries to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Lois stops breast-feeding Stewie, who, as a result, goes through withdrawals. Peter gets a vasectomy and loses all his sex drive.
Lois begins to gain weight, and as a result, Peter's regains his interest in his wife. When Lois' habits get out of control, she has a heart attack. The surgeon must remove Lois' fat to reach her heart, returning her to her normal weight. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother Bertram returns to confront him, where they have a war for control over the playground.
Meg becomes an intern for Mayor West. Brian, who is sure that the mayor is corrupt, tries to out him. Brian and Stewie, while undercover, discover that Meg is more than just an intern.
Meanwhile, Peter and Lois go back to their folk singing days at a local talent show. When they begin using drugs, Chris stages an intervention. After reading an erotic novel, Peter gets the idea to write one himself. Carter gets sued for publishing Peter's book on tape and loses all his money, where he is forced to become a middle-class citizen. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to train for the Olympics. Brian's gay cousin Jasper visits the Griffin house and announces that he is engaged to his partner and wants to be married at their house.
When Mayor West bans gay marriage in an effort to cover up and bring attention away from a scandal of his own, Brian resorts to hostile actions to try to change the Mayor's mind. Lois and Peter question their view towards gay marriage while Chris joins the "Young Republicans" Club to impress a girl. Peter wants to top Joe, who just built a new home theater system, so he starts to build a multiplex in his backyard. In doing so, he discovers an Indian burial ground.
He finds an Indian chief's skull and the Griffin house becomes haunted. Stewie gets sucked into the television and strange events follow as they try to get Stewie back from the poltergeist.
When burglars break into the house, the Griffins take cover in the attic where they discover Peter has built a 'panic room'. They go in it, and Peter tells them about his history. They send Meg for food but the burglars catch her.
The rest of the Griffins stay behind and Peter accidentally floods the room and they're going to drown. Luckily Joe gets them out and we find out Meg has been accused of sexual harassment by the burglars. After losing at a swim competition, Stewie trys to eliminate his rival by blowing up a lifeguard tower.
His plan backfires though, and Stewie has a near death experience that seems to change him. Stewie convinces Brian to go on a road trip with him to San Francisco to search for a man Stewie believes is his real father. Stewie finds out that his life in the future is miserable. So he decides to go back in time and change events for the better. Stewie becomes obsessed with Lois, after she saves Rupert. Though Lois doesn't take to the new Stewie all too well.
Meanwhile, Peter thinks his doctor is molesting him, when he undergoes a prostate exam. Photos 4. Add photo. Top cast Edit. Chris Cox Various as Various voice. Ralph Garman Various as Various voice. Kerrigan Mahan Various as Various voice.
Danny Smith Cop 1 as Cop 1 voice …. Alec Sulkin Cop 2 as Cop 2 voice. Nickie Bryar Various as Various uncredited. Storyline Edit. Did you know Edit. He and his father-in-law then watch the tape that Peter had edited together. User reviews 7 Review. The episode ends with Quagmire at the Griffins' doorstep saying he has raised the reward for finding his cat, which he still believes to be missing, no questions asked. Peter nonchalantly takes the reward, admits he killed his cat, and slams the door on him before Quagmire gets a chance to react.
Family Guy Wiki Explore. Editing guide. Blog Members Admins. Explore Wikis Community Central. Register Don't have an account? View source. History Talk 0. Do you like this video? Play Sound. Episode Guide.
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